My body is not happy with me right now. I’m enjoying my job and I honestly never want to go back to an office job again, but my body is really struggling to keep up. It feels like I’m in a state of perpetual post exertion malaise during my work weeks that I have to just push through and exacerbate every day. I’m glad to be getting scheduled for longer shifts and getting more hours to keep myself busy and my goals on track, but it’s been really fucking hard on my body.
I woke up today feeling like I got hit by a truck or something last night. Everything hurts, everything is stiff and sore, and I am deeply, deeply fatigued. At 29 years old, I should not be feeling this intensely physically badly after all of two 8-hour shifts in a row. I desperately want food service to be physically sustainable for me long-term, but on days like today, all I can do is hope to last the summer. I am genuinely on the verge of tears right now because I am just so exhausted and in so much pain. I probably will have a little cry when I finish with this post, and then I’ll pull myself together with ice packs and pain meds so that I can go pretend that I’m Totally Not Physically Disabled for another six hours tonight.
It certainly doesn’t help my mood today that I’m also feeling super socially burnt out at the moment. Talking in any format feels like it requires an incredible amount of effort this week to the point that I can’t even bring myself to text anyone right now.
I wish I could still work the same and be as physically and socially active as I was in my early twenties. I fucking hate what COVID, long-term constant anxiety, depression, and autistic burnout have done to my body. This fucking sucks, y’all.
Silas Parker 
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