100 Days of Blogging: Day 95

Today is a pretty chill day for me. I got all of my errands done yesterday so now I’m just relaxing until work tomorrow. I signed up for a virtual “Testosterone Support Group” through Plume that has its first meeting at 6pm tonight. It’s a part of my Plume membership I haven’t utilized yet and I’m having a fair amount of social anxiety now that it’s coming up, but I’m also excited about it. It will be nice to meet and chat with other folks who are also on this gnarly hormonal transition journey. 

Transitioning can often feel rather lonely and it can feel especially isolating to be having such an intensely physical experience that no one around me can directly relate to. There’s nothing quite like being called a science experiment and gawked at when you try to talk about what’s going in with your body to really drive home feelings of loneliness and not belonging. I’m really hoping for a good turnout at the group tonight and am just so, so looking forward to having a dedicated time and space to talk about this experience with people who get it and are also going through it and aren’t going to look at me like I’m some kind of freaky lab rat when I talk about the ways my body is changing.

In other news, today is Day 95/100. After this, I’ll only have five more posts left in this project — whoa! I’ve decided that I’ll definitely be taking a bit of a social media and maybe even internet break when I’m done with this. I’m so burnt out on engaging with screens as much as I have been and I need to give myself some time to reflect on everything I’ve learned from this experience and sort out what I actually, genuinely want to be putting out into the world moving forward. I haven’t decided how long of a break I’ll be taking yet, but I’ll certainly let y’all know that on Day 100!

And on that note, I think I’m gonna wrap this up now. I really want to do this support group tonight and I can feel the social anxiety steadily building, so I’m gonna step away from the computer and get myself calm and grounded before I talk myself into bailing.